I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
