yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
