Quick, to the slutcave!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
