No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
