Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
