ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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