nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
