Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
