Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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