i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize