Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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