I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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