he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
