just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
