Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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