no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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