Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
nutella sex= disaster
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I think I sprained my soul last night
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize