true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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