u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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