Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
handjob tips. give me some.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
