five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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