Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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