Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
