So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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