Do vagina's smell?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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