Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Pants are for mortals
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
