Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
