I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
no, he came in my armpit
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
