a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
