I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
