after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
