I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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