a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
