his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
this will be a night to untag.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
