how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize