hell yes lets make some ravioli
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
