Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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