how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
