Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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