I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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