I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He has the fingertips of a God
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
