I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
