just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
