Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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