if you like me you must not know who I am
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
