We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
