? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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