So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
