He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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