singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
