Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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