Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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