Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
