I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
