Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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