Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
