drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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