Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
