yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize