worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
