omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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