Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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