Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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