That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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