Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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