I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
