I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
