Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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