so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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