I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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