Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
