Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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