i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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