Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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