so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
