i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
