Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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